Sunday afternoon delight

Jason came over around 11.30 am yesterday. He had made reservations for 12:15 for brunch. It takes about 15-20 minutes to get to the restaurant. I asked what him what are we supposed to do with extra time. He said “You are about to find that out”. 

There it was. That urgency. That intensity. His need to have me NOW. I love that. Over the top passion is so intoxicating to me. He looked and smelled so good. There was no chance of resisting him. I remember the vulnerability of that annoying me for a second before he took off my dress and got me back to my room. He pushed me back on the bed with an aggressiveness I haven’t seen in him before although I knew it was there. This turned me on despite myself and he knew it.

I was horny and I knew could do my part. I thought about my recent conversation with Sir about having to struggle to have an orgasm during sex. He said if he tells me to cum when I am with Jason, I should be able to do this just as quickly as I always do for him any other time. This has been a struggle in the past. A mental block. One with a very obvious explanation. I felt like I was betraying my submission and while I’ve gotten progressively better at it, I still struggle. 

As soon as we started, it felt so good and my anxiety about tarnishing my submission was nearly gone. I know this was Sir’s goal from the start but it still makes me sad. But for now, while in this moment, It felt damn good. Jason continued with this new level of roughness. Not painful but aggressive and confirming what I already knew. I’m a bit of a pain slut and his forcefulness was triggering the long dormant pleasure centers in my brain.

I still thought of Sir though. Perhaps I always will. Hearing his voice in my head along with the amazing sensations pulsating throughout my body was all it took. I rolled my eyes back and felt the warmth of the orgasm spread throughout my body. Jason stopped and watched me. “Damn baby, that was intense and quick.”

We got dressed and went to brunch and had a great time. We talked a little about everything. It is easy to be with him. He is charismatic with a hint of mystery. Typical Aries man. We did talk about the situation from Friday night and he apologized again. I told him that I really care about him and that while I am not sleeping with anyone else, I do date. I am not emotionally in a place where I can devote myself just one person. I told him that I hoped that was ok but if it wasn’t, I understand. He said it was fine and this is actually was ideal for him. His daughter and job take up a lot of time and most women eventually need more than he can give. Well, not me! I think we both felt good with how our situation is now but we promised to be open about any changes that may arise in the future.

We walked around the downtown area for awhile and then decided to go back to my place to watch a movie. Of course, not long into the movie, we started fooling around again and that was…well lets just say I enjoyed it 🙂

So, we will continue on as we are. For now at least. When his mom comes up for a visit in couple weeks and can watch his daughter, he wants me to go for an overnight trip to the San Juan Islands. Leave Saturday morning and come back Sunday night. I didn’t say yes or no but the thought of it gives me a lot of anxiety. I don’t know if I want to do that. I guess I’ll think about it and of course check with Sir to see what he thinks. Part of me feels kind of guilty about my continued dependence on Sir but we were in some version of a D/s relationship for years and you just don’t stop that over night. Kink is an addiction and a tough one to kick.         I don’t feel ready to completely let go. This is probably part of why I am so hesitant to get into something serious although it is definitely not the only reason. I don’t want to make any decisions right now. I just want to enjoy the moment and take it day by day.

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